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Friday, January 17, 2003
THE ENTROPY IS IMMENSE!!!....
again, i couldnt think of a good title, and since this is jus goin to be a loose conglomerate of random things goin on in my head, at least it would be appropriate. Yeap, so berk looms overhead once again. W/ a good 3 or so days left in so cal, i wonder how im goin to spend the rest of my time here under the sunny skies (surprising, not one bad day here, only a little windy at times). I think a good part of it will be preparing for the trip back up, and the rest will be filled w/ more of the same. Certainly a nice breath of fresh air this trip turned out to be. Nothin much more than relaxing and reaffirming what ive already known. The real test will come under cloudy skies (literally so, berk weather is a bit depressing, after all). It feels like much of the same all over again, but some things must change. Action must follow conviction, and conviction in turn must be solid and true. Nothing less.
Anyway, unfinished business always dampens the spirits, and this is no exception. I think this happened every break ive been down here. Start one drama, leave b4 it ends. A painful cycle indeed. I had a bit of luck w/ one drama, chancing upon it online. Its called "Do As You Wish", or something like that, and it starred Yang Dong Geun, a favorite of mine. Hes a surprisingly good actor, one ep gave me literal pangs of grief (his character's dad died in that ep). So, i managed to dl every ep i missed, and that made me one pretty happy guy. But, not so much luck w/ the others. There was another one a good yr or so ago that came out. It was entitled Piano, and it starred Jo In Song, a recent rising star in the dramas. The drama struck a chord w/ me initially cause they used the sattori accent (my parents have that accent, and in turn, i picked it up. Awesomeness... hehe). Yea, so as i got in a few eps, i had to go back to classes and such. Alas, i missed watchin the whole thing.
Which leads us to my present dilemma. If u didnt read the last post, the drama im watchin now is called Shoot a Star, and again stars Jo In Song, cast in the role of the illiterate aspiring actor Sung Tae. The last few eps were pretty good, leadin up to the climax. U could tell it was goin to happen, but Sun Tae and his lady manager So Ra finally confess their love. Since they cant be open about the relationship, they try to hide it from the public. The secret relationship is short-lived, for Sora's brother finds out about the whole thing. Since he knows of the consequences, he tries to separate Sung Tae and So Ra. But, eventually he starts to cave in as well. However, not all is well, since the rival actress Yae Rin(she was formerly managed by the nice-guy brother) finds out about the relationship as well. Initially she starts to come onto Sun Tae, making up situations and such, but he doesnt fall for any of her advances. When a rumor about her floats around online (which really did happen in the past), she gets desparate and lies to the papers, sayin that she and Sun Tae were seeing each other. At the same time, the actress' manager (and So Ra's ex) approaches So Ra and says that he'll tell the papers about the relationship between herself and Sun Tae if she comes foward w/ the truth. Thus, not wanting to unleash a larger scandal, she forces Sun Tae to go along w/ the whole thing. Initially, Sun Tae does comply... but he knows that he cant live a lie. First he jus says to the press that he and Yae Rin are not a couple, that he loves some1 else. Later on, when Yae Rin makes up more stories (how they were engaged and that he beat her occasionally), he jus comes clean w/ the whole thing. And so Sung Tae and So Ra run off together, away from the paparazzi. All of this results in one sad man, left hanging, possibly never able to c the last eps of the drama. Dooooh is all i can say. My hope is that i can find the eps online, or ill be pretty sad indeed...
For more randomness. As Vic once warned me, a certain most favorite game of mine would suck a good portion of my life, and a good portion of my break as well. But, its all good. So, i plow through the game once more, 4th time beating it all the way through on my count. For a game that takes at least 50+ hrs to beat (barely), that shows how much i love this game. This time, i went for the gusto. I got ever item, and secret item, that could be found (well, almost, i would have to cheat to get one item). I got every deathblow and lvled up my characters like no other. By the time all that craziness was over, the last boss (a "god", or an interplanetary-weapon w/ an infinite power source called Zohar... dont worry, it gets weirder) was a pushover. And, i found myself 4 days away from berk. Ehhh, again, all good, i love the storyline (i dont care what any1 says, i believe its the best storyline ever to grace the genre of rpgs). Very uplifting and bleak all in one fell swoop.
Dreams are weird too. At least most of mine are, or ones that i remember. Maybe our minds piece together random memories from long past, or recent events, or jus certain things that seem to cry out the loudest, whether it be a hidden phobia, regret, joy, hope, desire, dread, what have u. Gathering up all these entities, it would splice them together in similar random fashion; sometimes it would have a coherent, logical order to it... or it would jus be a mass jumble of thoughts. Reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbes comic, where the workers in Calvin's subconscious search through the murky depths for reels of thought, and jus play whatever they found on a projector. U remember the one im talkin about... right?? Yea, im reminded of this cause my sis recalled a hilarious dream she had a wk b4, involving us in a pie eating contest. Of course i won, and i was eating blueberry pie. I dont recall eating blueberry pie in my life.... Yea, my dreams, when i can remember them, dont make much more sense either.
Ahh... sweet entropy... its good to talk about nothing at all sometimes. Take care yall. More to come later.
Monday, January 13, 2003
WASTING TIME LIKE A CHAMPION...
ehhh, i couldnt really think of a title to go along w/ this, and pretty much this is the extent of my break thus far. Thanks to my good wushu buddy Jon for this quote. (he seems to have a lot of these kinda quotes...). Anyway, this sums up my exploits during my stay at home, and again, i wouldnt have it any other way. Its a real nice way to recover from the pain that was last sem. A good pocket of time in which i could recover, recollect and gather myself, analyze the things that got me here thus far. I feel myself changin in some ways. Not much of a surprise, change is bound to happen. But, some things remain the same, and some of those i will keep till the end. I kno what i must do, so all that is left to do is to do it. Nothing more, nothing less.
Yea, so i reaffirmed the fact that im sappier than a maple tree in spring time. Cant help it, its jus what i am, heh. I dunno really when this whole thing began, cause i kno that i couldnt be born w/ this... sappiness. I think i went through that whole cootie phase way back when, although my family tells me otherwise. (according to all the stories that my parents/grandparents tell me, i didnt have a cootie phase at all. But i dont remember any of it...). Guess the origin of it isnt the important thing. What i do kno is that there exists inside me this sort of feeling, a warm, uplifting sensation that is triggered only by certain events, either directly or indirectly. I love stories of... love pretty much, a sort of true love, especially during these cynical times. Most everybody out there is ever so wary to shroud their feelings, not to reveal too much of their true self lest they get hurt. Romance isnt dead, as long as there is one solitary person willing to sacrifice, to throw every hesitation and hinderance away, jus on the basis of a feeling, a sensation that can only come through that sort of love.
Im feeling a bit lighter now. Guess what triggered it was when i watched Moulin Rouge. I always meant to c this movie, and for some reason, i decided to finally watch it. From what i heard, either u hated the movie or u loved it. Nothing in between. I turned out to be in the latter group. I listened to some of the sdtrk b4, and i was surprised at how well ewan mcgregor sang. Thats one of the things that drew me to it. And, it didnt disappoint. When i saw ewan's character, i essentially saw myself. I felt that warmth glowing within, that lightness of spirit when love is given and returned in one fell swoop. This is what i live for, that pursuit of true love. Same goes for all those sappy korean dramas that i c when i get the chance. Yea, a criticism could be that most of them are a bit formulaic (love triangles and whatnot). Frankly, i dont care. As long as i can feel for those characters, its all good. Some of the acting that ive seen can bring me to tears... almost. Its an active thing for me, i yell at the screen and such (ie, "wth r u doin??? run after her!!!!... yea, thats the way!"). I think i said this once b4... but ehh, its all good.
Well, yea, i got into another one. Its called Shoot a Star (something like that, and its from the same ppl who made Beautiful Days, another one of my favorites), and its about this illiterate aspiring actor who has an uncanny ability to remember most things. And yea, hes a pretty good actor to boot. He gets discovered by a manager, pretty much ur all around nice guy. What happens in the beginning is that his partner, who is also his sister's long-time bf, "proposes" to his sis and asks if he could "borrow" a large sum of money(essentially the nice guy's life savings) to buy a house. What his partner really does is use the money to buy the majority stock to a failing talent agency. Thus, the bastard cuts off ties to his former partner, and also to his long time gf. Whats more, the sole actress that the nice-guy manager is representing turns out not to be all that she seems. She wants to defect to the bastard manager, but he constantly refuses. Fate lends a hand. The two former manager partners get into a scuffle and the nice-guy manager is dealt a pretty serious head wound. The actress is the only one besides the 2 to kno what really happened, and then she blackmails the bastard manager into representing her. Whats more, she makes it seem as if shes the victim in this whole mess... ughh. Well, enter the protagonist to our story. Since his brother's out of commision for awhile, his sister (after gettin over the bastard) decides that she'll represent the aspiring actor. They become pretty close as time goes on... and paths cross many times (they turn out makin a movie together, the aspiring actor and the actress)... and it goes on from there. Im really into this one, hehe.
Its never easy. It most certainly gets harder. No1 really knows the events yet to come. With a leap of faith, i can most certainly fall into ruin. In turn, hesitation and deliberation may cost me that one chance. In the end, all i can rely on is what i feel, and that glimmer of hope. Hope is indeed powerful. The greatest thing is to love, and to be loved in return (from Moulin Rouge, alludes to something that ive thought of from time to time). Well, take care yall. More to come soon.
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